The Spaghetti Murder is a featured article!
One day, Timmy was outside playing ball when he found a noodle. Yes, a noodle. He picked it up because well, he's 4, and it was a talking noodle. It said "Elmo" and Timmy was spooked. He got angry
and eated it. The noodle then wiggled out of his nose and and said, "Gingers have souls!" Timmy, spook, ran to his eggroll house and got his springroll shotgun. Forgetting his tater tot shells, he got a popcorn grenade instead. The noodle had his COD-zooka and fired some fried cod. The fish shrapnel entirely missed Timmy, because it was dumb. Then, TImmy got his GBA and loaded up Golden Sun so he could summon Procne and he fired his lazaar. Pootis. Dead. End of book 439.